I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
