I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
