If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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