Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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