Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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