so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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