So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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