it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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