Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
