I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
