.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
