I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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