I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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