brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
