he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
