xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
