he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
