I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
