Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
