Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
