8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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