using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
