You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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