i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
