Apparently you make a good broom.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you will always have a special place in my vag
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
