So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
