if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize