Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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