btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
