her vagine was all disorganized.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
