Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
