Its about making memories worth repressing
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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