walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
