He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
