It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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