shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
