I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
