okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
