Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
