If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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