Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The best revenge is premature balding
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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