I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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