so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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