singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
