Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
