Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bring me that man meat
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
