Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
