Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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