Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
