either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
