I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
